Anxiety is a topic that us as humans find difficult to talk about. For me it’s one of the hardest things purely because it has consumed my life for a number of years. Even though it may be hard I do want to express my opinion of it and hopefully help as many people with their problem or even just make it easier for people to except it in our society. Aniexity can isolate you from basic day to day life. It’s a fear that basically stops you from doing the things you want to, all because you all the negative things that could possibly happen rather looking at the positive things. I suffer and I know a few people that suffer from major anxiety and it’s the biggest struggle that them and myself have to deal with everyday. Before I passed my driving test I use to feel nervous getting on buses or any public transport thinking people were looking at me, even though no one care less. I struggled and some times still do making eye contact with new people or just going to the local shop to pick up something. The littlest things become impossible. Social anxiety wasn’t actually the hardest part for me. It was being on my own and over thinking. I say this as it in the past it’s not. It still happens now and again, I’m just much better at dealing with it now. What can I say about overthinking the anxiety? I literally became obsessed about what i should do or say. I would worry about what type of person I am and if I’d measure up to the world, for example what I was wearing that particular day, if it was fashionable or acceptable. I used to and still do create fearful what-if scenarios about things that could go wrong with loved ones or mostly myself.. I would dread going to sleep just because I knew I had to get up the next morning. The overthinking started to take over my life. The more I thought about things the most my heart would feel like it was beating faster. A feeling of overwhelming fear. One evening I was thinking about going to work the next day, (by the way I enjoy my job, It was just the thought of leaving my bed, whom was my best friend at this stage of my life) I was stressed about what to wear and what my day would be like. My chest became tight and it was incredibly hard to catch my breath. I started having heart palpitations. I felt like I was going crazy and my anxiety was taking control. I started to feel light headed and sick. This particular panic attack I was sick, twice. I had a few of these but never knew what they were. I contact a friend about it and she was the one whom actually told me about anxiety. I read up on it and became aware. It started to become easier and easier to talk about it. Getting everything off my chest helped me, not cure but help. Without telling my friend I would of just carried on having these symptoms of anxiety and dealing with all that comes alone with it. So my advice to anyone who is feeling or showing signs of anxiety is not to put them at the back of your mind. It’s to be brave, talk to someone. Whether it be a close friend or family member or doctor just get it all out. Society is becoming more aware of anxiety and depression, finally. I’ve seen a few stories on the news and more articles on social media. There’s more people sharing their stories like myself. Reaching out can be a scary thing but believe me it will be worth it in the end. I look back at all the struggles, yes some are still there, I’m working on that, I wonder how different it could have been had I spoke about it sooner. You deserve to live a happy life, to be worry free, you are not alone. That may be hard to hear right now but please speak out.
So, welcome to my page. I thought i would start off by saying a little about myself. My name is Kelly as you can see, I am 20 years old (soon to be 21, feeling old). My home town is a little place called Bargoed, it is located Rhymney valley which is in the South of Wales. I am a qualified Hairdresser and work in a salon which is in a near by village called Ystrad Mynach. I live on my own (well house share). My mother and step father live literally two minutes up the road, so if i want a home cooked meal, a cuppa or just a chat i can and have all the freedom of living on my own. My father, step mother and my two younger brothers live in Monmouth, which I am originally from. I have lived in the Bargoed area since i was 7 so pretty much a true valleys girl (in the good sense, please do not think of that awful show that once aired on MTV).
Many of my friends and work colleagues would probably say I am a creative, open, gentle and all round a little mad person. I love to make things whether it maybe in cooking or displays in work or even cooking, which i never seem to have to the time to do. I adore reading, I am not fusing about what I read. At the moment I’m reading a book called Moriarty by Anthony Horowitz, it’s basically the story of if Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty both died at the Reichenbach Falls. Seriously a great read. I enjoy watching videos on you tube, scrolling through Facebook, Instagramming and pinning things I love on Pinterest. I find it hard to write about myself, confidence is an issue, but I am hoping writing this blog will help.
I want this blog to be about expression. I’d like to share my views and advance on different things. I would like to cover many things such as depression, relationship problems, courage, growing as a better person, self care, love, hate and all the bells and whistles that come with life. “Everyone has their own ways of expression. I believe we all have a lot to say, but finding ways to say it is more than half the battle” Criss Jami. What I am trying to say by sharing this quote is that there is a lot to say so bare with me while I try and get used to sharing my feelings and thoughts to you all (if anyone has bothered to give this a read).
Life is a journey, wont you join me?